Morning Startup: French Press
COFFEE. Needed more than ever this morning. Sadly it’s not this beautiful. It’s instant coffee being drunk out of some crappy work mug in my office. WHAT I WOULD GIVE TO BE SAT SOMEWHERE WARM AND COMFORTABLE DRINKING NICE COFFEE AND READING THE GUARDIAN RIGHT NOW. (wow… that was exceptionally middle class of me).
Makes me feel weird to know you’ve been dating. Kind of upsetting. Can’t quite understand why though. When I leave this place, I’ll really miss you. You’re the best part of being here :-)
I feel like I’m closely connected to you in a way I’ve rarely felt before. I have this massive urge to protect you and make you feel safe and supported. The difference is though, that this time I don’t feel like I have to be your therapist. You’re not relying on me. Instead I just feel like I’m an extra layer of support. Someone you can open up to and be yourself with and not worry that I’m going to judge you or push you away. On top of this, I love that we have fun together. That we can be silly and serious, that we have a balance. That you make me feel safe and supported too. That you’re a man and not a boy and that you are utterly honest with me and don’t play stupid games. That you keep me feeling reassured. That we haven’t ever defined ourselves but instead just enjoy each other. Baby, you’re a brilliant thing.
Looking back through the pages of my Tumblr blog was all I needed to do to see how turbulent my last relationship was. I blog when I’m at both ends of the spectrum. When I’m feeling completely shit and also when I’m feeling as high as a kite.
My pledge for next time: to stay on an even keel. If I notice it dropping into a deep trough, I get out. I don’t wait for the next peak to make me feel better about things. It’s too risky and it hurts too much.
Love the coal
Love the way you’re waiting
I love your kind patience
Such a beautiful, meditative song. Shame about the stereotypical imagery in the YouTube video.
Ryan Gosling: Personally I feel like Blue Valentine is a hopeful movie because I think it addresses something that needs to be addressed. The only way to heal from something is to address it, acknowledge it, and then move forward. A lot of times when you get into a fight with whoever you’re with, it helps bring you closer. Michelle said something really interesting to me about being a mom… she was just saying that part of your life as a mother and as a parent is playing. You have to play, because if you don’t, the kid gets mean. It helped me to understand the movie, in a way, like maybe relationships are like that. You have to take them out in the backyard and run them around every day, and if you don’t, it’ll start to sour. I think what happens is these people take it for granted, and they go, ‘Okay, you love me, I love you, okay, great. Now we got that covered. We can go focus on our lives.’ And then this thing just starts to sour. Then because it came so naturally, it’s this thing that happened right at first sight and it was so easy, they want it to be effortless forever. I think that it takes work. My hope is that when people see the film… it starts a dialogue.
Interviewe: I don’t know, I don’t think they… do you think that they get back together?
Ryan Gosling: Yeah, I do. I really did. I just think that it’s two days of their life, you know? I mean, it’s a bad two days. And the film is focusing on those two days, but there’s so much, and it’s funny to me, they could have so much love in the past, and just… I just think there’s so much love there. They have a bad two days, and then everyone says it’s over, you know? I just think that’s the problem. We don’t look at how much they’ve built.